grief

The World Moves On

/ The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

When your heart is broken, the world should stop and pay tribute.

The everyday routines should pause and have a moment of silence.

The hustle and bustle should be freeze-framed to allow for a breath.

But nothing halts.

Nothing slows down.

The earth keeps moving.

The sun keeps shining on.

When grief is gripping your throat, the hands of the clock should not tick.

The hours seem to rage when they shouldn’t be allowed to exist in the present time.

The minutes are no longer like sand but rather like molasses that shouldn’t flow.

But nothing halts.

Nothing slows down.

The earth keeps moving.

The sun keeps shining on.

When your soul is bereaved, the grave screams louder.

The tombstone seems to be the inscription on your mind.

Yet, there is hope. For the dirty cave doesn’t have to be the end.

Nothing halts, but His love is ever reaching.

Nothing slows down, but His grace speeds up.

The earth keeps moving to His rhythm.

The sun keeps shining on to show you The Way.

10/18/21 – MG

My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalm 73:26

Blessed are those who mourn,

For they shall be comforted.

Matthew 5:4

When You Can’t Speak

/ The WheatandTares

When words can’t be found to eloquently express your heart, a pen and paper will do.

When your tongue is tied because your heart is bound, a soft melody can unwind the strings.

When your lips refuse to move because the emotions run like a waterfall, a warm fire can comfort the bones.

When your vision is cloudy and the letters won’t form, let your feet find solid ground.

When your lids are closed and murmurs can’t be heard, let your hands seek for Truth.

When your eyes are veiled and the tears consume, let your soul run to His refuge.

The answers are never easy.

The questions are never ending.

The rebuttals are ever repeating.

Yet, the hope you will find in the solace of His grip is the very grace that will sustain you.

Draw close. Close your eyes and listen.

Breathe in deeply as He breathes life into you.

When you can’t speak, His love can be heard.

Psalm 18 nkjv

But a Vapor

/ The WheatandTares / 5 Comments

I attended a funeral today of a dear friend whose husband was in the chair talking to her, and then, he was gone.

On the same day he left, I made a call to my grandmother because it had been 19 years; since, we had to say goodbye to the love of her life.

In a few weeks, I’ll be present for my father’s memorial, to say goodbye and try to find the right shelf for the varied emotions.

Our lives are but a vapor, here today and gone tomorrow. Are you ready?

This is the month for awareness of miscarriages, infant loss and the fight of breast cancer.

My friend posted the other day the names of her three boys in heaven, and I added my oldest, too.

Just today, I counted five women whom I know personally are walking through, or who have just walked through, this painful and fearful journey; yet, each one of them have come out swingin’.

Our lives are but a vapor. Not a one is promised our next breath. Are you ready?

Don’t maintain that you’re invincible.

Don’t hold on that you’re healthy.

Don’t keep steadfast to the hope that you’re young.

We have no guarantee. We have no contract, no agreement, no treaty with death. He can come at anytime.

Yet, rest assured, he can only come when the Creator of life says, “Now.”

Love a little deeper. Forgive a little faster.

Hold a little tighter. Lean a little stronger.

And pray.

Pray like you’ve never prayed before.

Penned MG 10/9/21

When My Pen is Too Weary

/ The WheatandTares / 3 Comments

Lately, I’ve missed writing; yet, my heart makes the pen heavy.

It’s as if my soul has so many words bound within that it’s difficult to let them flow.

It’s as if a dam was built overnight, without my awareness, and now I’m stuck trying to open it.

I just want the river to flow freely. But my pen is too weary to begin again.

Pain seems to be everywhere my eyes wander; yet, the clouds cast shadows on the depths.

It’s as if I feel their agony, and then, I find myself wondering if this is pure or imagined.

It’s as if a dam has been erected in a moment of oversight, and now I’m struggling to crawl over the wall.

I just want to see the clarity through the mud. But my pen is too weary to draw the truth.

My fingers are desperate to grasp the medium, to spread freely, as the wings of flight once caged.

It’s as if I see the need, and then, my feet are too sluggish to make it across the line.

It’s as if a dam has been constructed and fortified, and now I’m left flailing in the wind, looking for the cracks.

I just want to write with fervor, escaping this reality while allowing it to reach from the ink into another land.

I need You to move, to break the barrier, to bust down this fortress. I need You to consume.

Why are you cast down, O My Soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance. O my God, my soul is cast down within me; Therefore I will remember You from the land of the Jordan, and from the heights of Hermon, from the Hill Mizar. Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls; all Your waves and billows have gone over me. The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night His song shall bewith me—

A prayer to the God of my life.

Psalm 42:5-8

Lost Soul

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

You were just a lost soul no one could hold

Traveled the world wide but never stayed close to home

Restless, renegade, rogue

That’s the life you tried to embrace

You were just a wandering soul no one could understand

Followed the stars and searched the land but never stayed too long

Rugged, ravaged, relentless

That’s the life that chased your dreams

You were just a weary soul no one could confine

Drifted beyond the horizon but never stayed in port

Regrets, remembrances, recollections

That’s the life that you left behind

You were a broken soul only One could redeem

Sailed close to water’s edge but never stayed the anchor

Reconstruction, renewal, redemption

That’s the life He has waiting for you

Penned – 8/6/2021 – MG

RIP JLH 8/5/21

I will both lie down in peace, and sleep;

For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 4:8

Memories and the emotions they bring can be so difficult to put into words, but sometimes, a song will do…

Stop to Smell the Roses … and Count Them, Too.

/ The WheatandTares / 5 Comments
Take your pick. There’s plenty to go around.

I love roses. Really, I love flowers of almost any kind, but I’ve always been partial to roses, poppies and Gerber daisies.

Particularly, in red and hot pink… but these orange roses above are absolutely beautiful as well!!

And lately, I’ve been drawn to them more and more while being reminded of the phrase, “Stop to smell the roses.”

See, life has just been crazy busy lately. Busy in good ways, I suppose, but busy nonetheless. And I find my heart longing for a pause…

A pause for refreshment. A pause for reflection. A pause for renewal.

In everyday life, and especially, in the busy days of life, if you don’t have those pauses that bring refreshment, reflection and renewal, you might very well die. If you don’t die, you might drown in the heaviness around you. If you don’t drown, you might just grow resentful or depressed or burnt out.

You’ve got to pause. And you can’t pause with chaos in your head. You’ve got to pause away from the frantic. You’ve got to pause out of the panic. You’ve got to pause beyond the emotion and turmoil.

Get alone till you’re not alone anymore.

Sit still until you are still.

Breathe until you do breathe.

And then, inhale even deeper and smell those roses.

And then, take another minute to count them.

I promise you. If you’ll do this often, you’ll find you can face tomorrow a whole lot easier. … doesn’t mean tomorrow will be easier. It just means you’ll be a little stronger to face it.

I will meditate on the glorious splendor of Your majesty, and on Your wondrous works. Men shall speak of the might of Your awesome acts, and I will declare Your greatness. They shall utter the memory of Your great goodness, and shall sing of Your righteousness.

Psalm 145:5-7

The Fight of Seduction

/ The WheatandTares

The sound of your voice still rattles in my head.

The effects are slowly but surely becoming dead.

The triggers you brought always through my heart were shot.

But now, your deceitful lies have all been quickly caught.

The murmur of your tongue is fading from my mind.

The impact of your facade dissipates like scattered grind.

One look, one word, no matter the hour, I’m still taken back.

Yet, I fight and I claw to resist the seducing hatred that only brings me lack.

Oh, how I wish to cry, to scream, to vent out to all the world.

I want to demand justice and deny your pleasantries that swirled.

I fight my own daggers, realizing bitterness is not the answer.

Gall cannot bring life, my bones it will eat like a cancer.

So, I walk away, never seeking retribution or the slightest reconstruction.

I will wait for time to tell and truth to shine before my souls gives to abduction.

I cannot be free from the memories that bring pain, but I can sing.

I can praise my God for His goodness and grace, for the life He will bring.

Penned – MG – 3/1/20

Abandoned Heart

/ The WheatandTares

You send me love letters, but they never arrive.

You call me on my number, but the phone never rings.

You knock at my door, but no one is ever at home.

You drive by to see me, but the windows have all been sealed shut.

The hallways are vacant of footprints.

The rooms are void of noise.

The entries have all been chained.

The exit gate is swinging wide.

Their questions will never be answered.

Their answers will never be questioned.

Their thirst will never be quenched.

Their hunger will never be filled.

It is said, “Curiosity killed the cat,” but that happened way before our time.

The story had ended.

The song has been sung.

The fortune was never found.

And the fat lady started to hum and then died.

Penned -MG – 10/31/19

*I do not own this video or have it in my possession. This is from YouTube, and I thought it would be an interesting addition to the poem.

Beyond the Grief

/ The WheatandTares

Is there ever a day when you’re beyond the grief?

When they say his name, you don’t smile with the sadness, because your arms long to hold him one more time?

When they bring up her picture, you don’t grimace in pain, because your soul still weeps for the loss?

When does the grief end?

Is there ever a moment when you’ve grown past the grief?

When you see the black and whites and don’t wipe away the tears that flow so easily?

When you hear a common melody and don’t want to run away from the familiar song?

When does the grief end?

Our hearts were not made for this separation.

Our souls were not fashioned to say goodbye.

The void inside was made for eternity.

There, our losses never ask why.

Penned – MG – 11/12/19

Sometimes, My Heart Just Grieves

/ The WheatandTares / 7 Comments

I’ve had several conversations over the past few week with friends who are going through incredibly tough seasons of life, and, as I think back through them all, my heart just feels heavy tonight. Many days, these conversations cause me to seek good, practical advice, Godly wisdom and a lot of scripture to encourage, admonish and uplift their weary hearts. Often, these stories told cause my spirit to rise up in righteous indignation over injustices done. I encourage them to fight, to never give up, to seek God, as well as, to seek their personal well being at all cost.

Yet, sometimes, like this evening, my heart just grieves over their losses and their pain. I wish I had a magical wand that could, somehow, make all the heartache, fear, doubt and turmoil just disappear. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?

If you’ve not experienced sorrow yet in your life, well, just keep on living, because it will come. If I can give you a piece of advice, both for those going through the trial and for those who are listening to the story, find someone to lean on. Don’t ever try to carry your burdens (or theirs) alone. You aren’t meant to.

Especially, for those of us who call ourselves a Christian. God never set up the Body of Christ for you to walk through this life experiencing all the brokenness it can bring and travel that painful journey alone. Find yourself a good church family, a wise pastor, spiritual leaders, and pour your heart out. Let them pray for you. Allow someone to come alongside you and help carry those burdens!

If you’re the one always walking alongside helping to carry the weight, you’ve got to learn to lean as well. You can’t always lean on those hurting, because they may not be ready to help carry you; however, you can find someone stronger than you to lend a helping hand. You’re not Superman! (Sorry to bust your bubble!)

Learn to lean. It’ll help you stand stronger.

Learn to release tears. They will wash your soul and help you to breathe deeper.

Learn to grieve. It’ll help your heart be real.

Learn to take a hand. It’ll help you to walk steady on that road to eternity.

Video is not mine. Simple YouTube search.

Video is not mine. Simple YouTube search.

Listen to both and be encouraged today. 💗