A New Fall Resolution

October 2, 2021October 22, 2021 / The WheatandTares / 8 Comments

It’s the second day of October, and I’m over here goal setting. I know it’s not the first of the year, and well, those “New Years Resolutions” don’t usually pan out anyway.

I’m just going to make a commitment here, kind of for accountability. Of course, it’ll be more for my own accountability, as those of you reading don’t usually “get on to me” anyway (lol. 😉😂), regardless, I’m going to put it out there. … of course, now that I’ve said that, there are some of you contemplating the task. Haha!

As I talked to a longtime friend yesterday, I was reminded of somethings that I’ve allowed to fall to the wayside of my life. And I am committing now to try to blog at least 2x a week (and to increase that after the first of the year). I’ve been SO slack the last two years…

Covid kind of turned my life upside down a bit, not because of the sickness nor the shutdowns, as Georgia has remained pretty open the whole time, but rather because our lives went into a bit of overdrive for a season. Our church remained as wide open as we could, in various stages, and we tried to get to all our people via internet, phone calls, drive-in services, in house services, etc. So, my “job” overran much of my writing space, and we just started doing what we needed to do to keep our people connected and to know we still loved and cared for them even if they couldn’t get to church.

Then, this year, when everyone hoped to “return to normal,” things didn’t seem to slow down one bit! Early in the year, we had a major staff transition, and much of that “work load” fell to me until the new staff member had transitioned. And so now, about 6 months later, things are lightening just a bit. Whew! I’m so thankful! And all of this was combined with continued Covid issues, confusion from the media on all fronts, continued families going through things and really, this part has probably been amplified on various levels because of Covid. … Side note here: I HATE Covid. Just wanted to make that clear.

I told someone the other day, I am just a bit weary. And it’s quite difficult to explain, because it’s not in anyway that I want to quit, or even change what we are doing!! I truly, absolutely LOVE what we do, where we are, and who we minister to (and really, that statement should be reversed: I love the people, the town, the job, and I’m so thankful God has placed us here.)

This might sound cliche, but it’s the truth. I consider this a high honor and blessing because there are so many pastors who are “running out of steam” and just quitting the ministry all together. That just breaks my heart, both for them and the people who followed them. When you’re called to ministry, it’s never easy. Really and truly, it’s not supposed to be. It’s a cross, but when you’re called, and you’re giving it daily to Christ, it shouldn’t be a weight that burns you out. But I digress, that’s a sermon for another day.

I do believe the “reprieve” is coming, and we’ve just got to hold on. Because it may not be until Jesus calls us home; however, in the meanwhile, we’ve got to find those “breathing moments” in the midst of the chaos. And I believe, THIS is where my weariness has come creeping in… Somewhere between the day to day grind, the grief of losing my father, the twisted up vacation we had this year (that really amounted to two days snatched here and there; although, we were gone a week), the various ministry trips, and truthfully, the lack of writing, has all equated to my feelings of fatigue.

Well, not that you needed all of that explanation, but I suppose, I’m writing it for my own benefit and remembrance… and maybe a bit of therapy. Haha!! … I know I desperately need to get back after it, my writing, if for no other reason but for my own sense of solitude and peace. Writing brings a sense of calm to my heart and a discipline to my soul, and it helps me to fall into a cadence of thinking that is needed in my life.

So, this is why today, October 2, 2021, I am making a resolution for change. It might not seem like much to someone whose writing doesn’t bring them joy, peace and strength, but for me, it’s like knowing that walking will help your overall heart health and not doing it means certain death. It’s either make the change immediately or slowly walk the downward slope toward dying. I choose LIFE … and life more abundantly!!

…And since I wrote yesterday, that’s two blogs down this week. Woohoo! Haha! 😂 Thanks for reading and indulging my New Fall Resolution.

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.
John 10:10

*UPDATE 10/17/21: I am adjusting this goal just by 1. After a couple of weeks, I am realizing that 3x – week may have been a bit too lofty of a goal after such a long stint of none and then once a month in the past year or less. So, as of now, I am adjusting to 2x a week, and I don’t think that’s unrealistic. I will strive to increase this in 3-6months. 😉

When My Pen is Too Weary

October 1, 2021October 3, 2021 / The WheatandTares / 3 Comments

Lately, I’ve missed writing; yet, my heart makes the pen heavy.

It’s as if my soul has so many words bound within that it’s difficult to let them flow.

It’s as if a dam was built overnight, without my awareness, and now I’m stuck trying to open it.

I just want the river to flow freely. But my pen is too weary to begin again.

Pain seems to be everywhere my eyes wander; yet, the clouds cast shadows on the depths.

It’s as if I feel their agony, and then, I find myself wondering if this is pure or imagined.

It’s as if a dam has been erected in a moment of oversight, and now I’m struggling to crawl over the wall.

I just want to see the clarity through the mud. But my pen is too weary to draw the truth.

My fingers are desperate to grasp the medium, to spread freely, as the wings of flight once caged.

It’s as if I see the need, and then, my feet are too sluggish to make it across the line.

It’s as if a dam has been constructed and fortified, and now I’m left flailing in the wind, looking for the cracks.

I just want to write with fervor, escaping this reality while allowing it to reach from the ink into another land.

I need You to move, to break the barrier, to bust down this fortress. I need You to consume.

Why are you cast down, O My Soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance. O my God, my soul is cast down within me; Therefore I will remember You from the land of the Jordan, and from the heights of Hermon, from the Hill Mizar. Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls; all Your waves and billows have gone over me. The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night His song shall bewith me—
A prayer to the God of my life.
Psalm 42:5-8

Monday Musings: Lessons Learned from 2020 and COVID-19

December 14, 2020 / The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

This has been quite a year for so many, and some would say this has been the absolute worse year ever, others would just say it stinks. I’m not sure there’s many at all who would say it’s been the best year; yet, maybe a three year old could have this perspective.

I will say it’s not been an amazingly wonderful year; it’s certainly had it’s challenges. However, I’d have to admit, it’s not been the worst year I’ve ever experienced.

Some of the worst years of my life were the year after my grandfather passed away, or the year we lost our first child after trying to conceive for 13 months, or the year I battled depression for a good half of the year… yeah, perspective always brings sunlight into the day.

Yet, there are some things this year of 2020 has taught me, and I thought I’d add it to my previous lists written near the beginning of all this…

1. No matter what comes into my life, with God, I can walk through fire and I can stand in the rain…even if I have to grab the fire extinguisher and maybe a boat paddle!

2. Regardless what the days bring, you still have a choice to take another breath and move forward or clamp down on oxygen and lie down to die…I choose to breathe.

3. Despite the ugly, the tornadic, the chaos or the devastation, there is always hope, you just have to search for it…often times, it will be buried deep within.

4. Although, there may be confusion and uncertainty, if you know the right source from which to draw strength, you will have an endless supply…the Source is your key.

5. Life brings with it all kinds of ups and downs, doubts and fears, turmoil and challenges, questions and very few answers; yet, when you have a firm foundation, those specific answers may not always become easier to find, but the principles to these will be as sure anchor doe your soul.

6. Everyone needs a friend. Choosing to live out your life in isolation and avoidance is just a waste of life! … choose friends carefully, but choose them.

7. Having the courage to call out when you’re in trouble can be scary, and it definitely will make you more vulnerable than many of us like to be, but honestly, having moments of vulnerability brings humility back into our prideful flesh…and the courage it takes to ask makes us all that stronger.

8. Life has been known to bring us lemons, and sometimes, they can be the sourest ever grown, but if you’ll add a little sugar, you’ll find that lemonade to be quite refreshing… mind you, sometimes, you better add a lot!

9. No matter the clouds that brew overhead, always remember, there is a sun still shining. You may not see it today or tomorrow, but keep looking up, and it’s bound to eventually burst forth and warm up your skin.

10. If you believe there is no hope to ever be found, just stop in your tracks, take a deep breath, and place your hand to your heart to feel that beat…if there is still a rhythm, then there is always a glimmer of hope.

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.
Hebrews 10:23

Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming.
1 Peter 1:13

I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people…
Ephesians 1:18

Saturday’s Musings of Whimsical Fun Days

December 12, 2020 / The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

It’s been a bit since I sat down to write, and my fingers have aches for the pen and paper (or in this case, the keys of the keyboard). It seems life has become a bit of a whirlwind, and other things take priority over the enjoyment of my blogging right now. It kind of makes me sad, but more, I’d have to admit it makes me frustrated.

Writing is when my mind relaxes and my soul pours out to become a settled peace. Taking pen to paper, or even my fingertips to the keys, has a stabilizing, relaxing effect to my mind.

My thoughts can be swirling, tossing and turning, and I will pick up my pen and journal and begin writing until my heart is content. Sometimes, that only needs to be a half hour, yet, at other times, I might linger for hours, but when it has all been spent, my head is clear, and my breathing steady.

I do believer I may have to write for my own sanity, at least, for my own tranquility. Yet, these writings have to mean something as well.

They cannot be frivolous words written in a frantic that have no meaning, no strength. They have to come from deep in the soul, and first and foremost, they must be a nod to my Creator.

For after all, He placed the desire in my heart. He buried the longing deep within the recesses of my mind, and when I start penning, He is always there, as if my writing becomes a one-on-one conversation to His heart.

So today, I say, “Thank You.” Thank you to my Creator for breath, and life and grace. Thank you for joy, and peace and hope. All the things with which You overwhelm my life.

And thank You for this longing, this unquenchable desire to send You a love letter from the depths of my being. For without You, I am nothing.

But with You, I can conquer any fear, I can scale any mountain, I can slay any giant. For You within me are a mighty force with which to be reckoned. Thank You! ❤️

I will cry to God Most High, Who accomplishes all things on my behalf [for He completes my purpose in His plan].
Psalm 47:2 (AMP)

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13

Friday Fun Day

November 13, 2020 / The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

Sometimes, you’ve just got to be whisked away by the sun, the waves and the wind.

Even if it is only in your mind’s eye that you sail away…

Happy Friday Fun Day!

Whimsical Wednesday

November 11, 2020 / The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

Well, we celebrated another birthday this month… we have a 15 year old. I can hardly believe it! The years seems to fly right by, even when you’re totally engaged and holding on tight!

I wouldn’t want to go back the younger years, but I sure do miss them sometimes…

Those little hands holding onto my hair.

Those little feet learning to find their place in this world.

Those little smiles that light up the room when you walk in.

And those little squeals of laughter that just sound like liquid gold.

Yes, I hold every one of them tenderly and safely within my heart.

Yet, I look with excited anticipation to the years ahead.

These little boys are quickly growing into the finest of men, and I am so proud to be called their mom.

They make my heart swell with live and adoration. ❤️

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.
2 Timothy 3:14-15

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6

Friday Fun Day

October 23, 2020October 23, 2020 / The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

Sometimes, to have a Friday Fun Day, you need to just sit by the rushing waters and let all the cares of this world wash away with the falls.

Sometimes, to find your peace, you’ll need to pause the calendar and step away.

Sometimes, to find your laughter again, you’ll need to take notes from the bubbling brooks and rustling trees.

Never get so lost in today’s “to do’s” that you forget about you.

Never get so consumed in the agendas that you forget those you value and love.

Now, go have yourself a Friday Fun Day! 💗

“He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul.”
Psalm 23:2-3a

Whimsical Wednesdays in my Musings

October 21, 2020October 21, 2020 / The WheatandTares / 9 Comments

Since I missed Monday Musings today, I thought I’d add it today’s whimsical thoughts, as I feel a bit melancholy today…

I don’t feel bad, and I’m not necessarily sad. I just feel a bit more somber than most days.

I suppose, it’s mostly because today is my grandfather’s 94th birthday. But he’s not here to celebrate. He’s in heaven.

We said goodbye to him 18 years ago (on Oct. 6); so, today is not a new day or even a surprise from what it has been for many years now.

Yet, I always miss him on these days. My life was changed that day, and as much as I’m so thankful I’ll see him again one day on the other side, it doesn’t change the fact.

I miss him deeply. And today, I’ve had a thought time shaking the invading blues.

The sun is shining brightly, the breeze is blowing slightly, and it’s a warm 79 degrees here in Georgia. My life is blessed, and I really cannot complain.

In fact, I am overly blessed, and he’d never want me to be sad, even in his absence. So, I’ll put a smile on my face until I feel it down deep in my soul.

For he is no longer in pain. He is no longer suffering. He is rejoicing in our eternal home, and I will see him again.

So, as my heart continues to heal, as it does with time, memories and purpose, I will lift my hands today and worship my King.

For He is worthy of that worship, and it changes me in the midst of my obedience.

…And it makes that smile sink a little deeper to the depths of my being to bring sunlight through the rain.

“Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.”
Psalm 42:11

“The Lord is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy,
and with my song I praise him.”
Psalm 28:7

Whimsical Wednesday

October 7, 2020October 7, 2020 / The WheatandTares

Sail on, son. Sail on.

Sail past those trials.

Sail past those pains.

Sail past those failures.

Sail past that shame and regret.

Embrace the sun and soak it in.

Soak it in deep, cuz you’re gonna need it to survive.

Not just to survive but to thrive.

Let the moon of His shadow light the way through the dark.

No matter the abyss of the unknown, the rays of His promise will chase away the haze.

The winds of this world blow hard, always wanting to knock you off course.

The waves of this culture devour fast, always seeking to destroy peace, joy, and clarity of mind.

Stay the course, son.

Never become distracted by what was, what is or what one day might be.

Keep Him at the helm, and you will find a steadier voyage.

Keep Him at the forefront of navigation, and you will find your destination not far ahead.

I may not always be present in form, but you can rest assured, I am always near your heart.

And you will always be held tenderly within mine.

“But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them. For we do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord, and ourselves your bondservants for Jesus’ sake. ⁶For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.”
2 Corinthians 4:3-6